Positive discipline is not for nerdy parents, nor does it make us less strict. That was my thought before. Now I'm saved hehehe
Life has taught me that almost every time I prejudice, I am wrong. And a lot. It happened to me when I came to live in Seville. I thought the world was ending. So far from reality... Here I have found the ideal stability to watch my children grow up and I never thought I could be so happy. It has happened to me many more times, but what I want to talk about today is how I discovered Positive Discipline.
When Trianita (the first) was one year old, we began to see that her character was developing quite a bit, but of course, we had no idea how to act.
I asked my sister-in-law (a psychologist) to recommend a book to learn how to educate, and she told me that she should buy
How to Educate with Firmness and Affection.
Two days later I had the physical book and started reading it. Throughout the first 10 pages he said several times that "one should not be punished" and I did not believe in that. In fact, it was very good for me to "make Tri think." So I left it parked for almost 3 years.
When Alvarito turned one and a half years old, it was already difficult for me to manage two tantrums at the same time, the afternoons of fighting, the crying... and when I get sleepy I lose my patience. I have always known that I am not a patient and calm mother. For the good and the bad. But I was noticing that I was starting to scream more and more and more.
One of my best friends in Seville, Lucía, has 4 children between 8 and 1 years old. She always gave me great advice where the screams never appeared.
Two months ago she gave a course to several acquaintances under extreme and desperate request. She lasted 6 hours of positive discipline (she is a trainer at
Comprehensive Positive Discipline Center ). My husband also attended. 6 Thursdays, 1h30 every Thursday. The best investment of time we have ever made. I promise you.
positive discipline seville
Do you know what the basis of Positive Discipline is?? The book I told you about before! That's why I tell you that life is so that we are able to change, to adapt, to learn, to listen... I wasn't like that and I try to do better every time. But how difficult it is!
Well, in the course they ask you several questions at the beginning; If you opened the door to your son in 30 years, what would you like to see? Well, the list was about the perfect son. But we all know that this is achieved almost from the cradle. How are you going to expect your child to be calm if he sees you scream every day ? or for him to be affectionate if we are not ? or for him to read if we don't read with them ?
The first thing I learned was that children are mirrors. If you talk to your child in crocodile mode (tired, screaming, losing patience), he will respond the same way: crocodile. What to do? You, who are an adult, find yourself in "crocodile mode", you have to go for a walk, or put on some music and disappear for a couple of minutes to calm down. And from calmness, you recover your reasoning and tell your son again what you were going to tell him. But this time much calmer. (and yes, you have to tell him that you are going to calm down for two minutes hahaha) IT WORKS INCREDIBLE!!!!
Children are mirrors and reproduce everything they see. But of course... at 8pm you are too tired to control yourself sometimes. Well, Positive Discipline gives you tools to manage those moments, and to create an atmosphere at home based on conversation and dialogue.
I think all parents should take this course from when their children are about 6 months old. Because it teaches you to understand children, it teaches you that if you shout at your child, your child will shout back, that if you teach them to participate in solutions to day-to-day problems, they will be personal and professional. resolving.Many of us who went shed tears of happiness and sadness. To see how well we can do things and to know that there is always time to improve.
With this post, I not only want to encourage everyone to take a good course in
Positive discipline, but also to tell you that, although I still yell and punish from time to time, I promise you that I have reduced it by much more than half. And it hasn't cost me anything at all. I promise you. My husband (to whom I am infinitely grateful for running out of the office every Thursday) has come to almost all the workshops so that we both follow the same line and the best thing is that we are both super convinced that it is the right line to follow. continue.
